Seenager

I am a Seenager (Senior Teenager) which means I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later :

I don't have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don't have a curfew.
I have a driver's license and my own car.
I have ID that gets me into bars and the liquor store.
I hang around with women who are not scared of getting pregnant.

...and I don't have acne.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought "Nap Time" was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have grey hair, I have "wisdom highlights"...so I'm just very wise.

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

 

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet. 

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway? 

Of course I talk to myself,  sometimes I need expert advice...sort of.

At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

 

Life is great. I have more friends I should send this to,
but right now I can't remember their names.

suu tam
MNLam
Cali