getting older

I am sure this has been around before, but it is the first time I have seen  it or have I ?

 

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

 

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

 

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

 

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

 

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

 

The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."  

 

I don’t have grey hair. I have "wisdom highlights."  I’m just very wise.

 

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

 

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

 

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

 

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

 

At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I went in there for.

 

Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager).

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.

 

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.

 

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

 

Now, I’m wondering.... Did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

 

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

 

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

 

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

 

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

 

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

 

The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."  

 

I don’t have grey hair. I have "wisdom highlights."  I’m just very wise.

 

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

 

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

 

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

 

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

 

At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I went in there for.

 

Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager).

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.

 

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.

 

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

 

Now, I’m wondering.... Did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

suu tam/VKDung/cali